Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Soft Drinks Support Terrorism

May 2nd, 2010 - MadHacktress


Okay, so I’m paraphrasing a bit, but two former Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, writing in the Washington Post, are claiming that America’s youth are, by and large, “too fat to fight“.


I honestly can’t think of a better way to get Coke and Pepsi, Kraft Foods and Kellogg to start looking more closely at high-fructose corn syrup and other ingredients that they’re pushing in their wares than be linking them to terrorism – the number one, go-to scare-tactic-that-works.  I bet that you could even sell that line in Iowa (hell, they’d rather grow corn for Ethanol anyhow).


The fact that these retired Generals can, straight-faced (as straight-faced as one can be in print) claim that obesity is a threat to national security cracks me up.  I mean, obviously obesity is bad.  But isn’t the fact that this generation is going to be the first generation in history whose life span is shorter than their parents reason enough to want to act?  Do they really want the raison d’etre of child nutrition legislation to be so that  Lieutenant Lardass (Corporal Corndog, Major Manboobs, I’ve got a million of ‘em) doesn’t get winded while chasing Osama and his cohorts?  I know that Big Mac Sauce can be a bitch to get out of cockpit controls, but, really?


If this thing gets legs I can honestly see some Rupert-Murdoch-owned paper running a political cartoon depicting Ronald McDonald and Barack Obama as Godzilla-sized monsters attacking the Twin Towers – Obama, of course, would be wearing a turban and a name-tag reading “B. Hussein Obama”.


All in all the fight against obesity is a worthy one and it needs all the allies it can get.  So, perhaps, amongst the Coalition of the Willing Fighting for Better Health (read: fewer fatties) among young people  we can welcome the Generals and their ilk, no matter their motive for joining the fight.


Remember: eat a Twinkie and the terrorists win!

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